CNN : Rape Academy - The Boys are watching

With the recent CNN story about how men all over the world were engaged in non-consensual acts of violating women often their own partners and claims of over 62million involved in the organized crime - having telegram chatrooms where they discussed about drugging, exploiting women; I had no words but as I write this down, I'll try to get some perspective based on my own research over the internet.

First Things First "The blame for the evil always lie on the perpetrator and never on the victim" - This blog always spoke for men raising better men around them, because no amount of safeguarding victims ;or laws will help till the perpetrators are not corrected or stopped. Since, the world now sees men as the only perpetrators (which I don't agree) - It is essential that men take responsibility for men.

Coming back to the story:

The story claimed "millions of men being enrolled in these rape academies" is exaggerated as it confuses traffic on a website with real people - So the real number is likely to be much smaller. But at the same time - it doesn't make the story any less disturbing.

Defining Masculinity:

Definition of masculinity is objective but can be broken down into some traits based on men who can be taken as inspirational and idols.

These traits generally are (based on book by Robert Twigger - "Being a Man")

1. High Agency : Proactively shaping your life & refusing to be passive victim of circumstances

2. Integrity & Honor

3. Responsibility

4. Courage

5. Humility

6. Competence

7. Empathy & Service

The men associated towards these websites, acts are undisciplined, morally weak and operate without any internal code.

Pipeline:

No man wakes up one day and decides to become a predator. Irrespective of gender, the pipeline for something heinous is always same. Which is,

Pipeline stages : Curiosity to Exposure to Normalization to Escalation.

The exposure to adult websites, society that rewards objectification and peers who encourage jokes that degrade women and so many other things contribute to the same. Which is why, before we make business of morally wrong things - we should know that The BOYS ARE WATCHING.

Male Silence:

We hear women often complain about men saying "Not all Men" when such issues come up and they are right about it.

Male silence in situations such as:

1. Not shutting down degrading jokes or acts happening in front of you.

2. Older Men who avoid uncomfortable conversations with younger men.

3. Peers who see Red Flags but choose social comfort over Confronting.

Silence is not Neutrality, it is permission. Remember The BOYS ARE WATCHING.

What it is actually and what needs to be done?

This is not a "women's issue", it is a failure of male leadership.

As men we need to

1. Set Standards - Demand Discipline, respect and responsibility

2. Enforce Boundaries

3. Intervene early

As Men - Our Actionable items for the BOYS:

1. Teach what consent actually means.

2. Break the illusion of Porn Early.

3. Set standards of our own actions for the boys to idolize the right people.

Because if Good Men don't define Masculinity, broken versions of it will fill the gap.

Remember the men of tomorrow - “THE BOYS “ ARE WATCHING.